Ok I Did a Big Christmas NO NO
Ok I apparently did the ultimate "NO NO" in Christmas . . .
Hello all my furry and human friends. Happy holidays to you all. Thought I would start out friendly since most of this story is NOT so friendly bol bol bol. Ok you all know it has been a few weeks and I was due to get into a jam. After all my nickname is "Mischief Lovin' Pup" and with good reason.
To begin my story I would like to state a few things because I know once I get into the story I won't have the time. First off I am 7 years old which makes me 35 in human years accorded to some "human" theories. So my question is this, who would you say to someone 35 years old "do you need to go wee wee or do you need to go tee tee"? Give me a break people. Just say to us "Do you need to go to the restroom"? For some reason humans tend to baby talk us till we are so old we can't walk. And for heavens sake how long do we have to turn circles to go out? Yes we want a treat and yes we want to "wee wee". But hey just open the door and let us out for Pete's sake. Ok got that off my whiskers so on with the story.
Well I had turned my circles and mom had opened the door and let me and "the little evil one" out to "tee tee". Of course Izzy stayed in the yard as usual trying to suck up. Mom has been going outside in the yard with us and that has cut down on my getting into trouble time so I knew I had to make up for lost time.
I scanned the neighborhood and decided the direction to take. I should mention this was last night and it was dark and in the distance I saw bright lights. Wow I thought it was the "Star of Bethlehem" it was so bright. See I know more about Christmas than you thought huh? Well I ran to the lights. I was like a deer that had been spotlighted. OMG there were lights and things all over that yard. Some looked like humans and some like animals but they were all standing very very still.
I ran all over the yard checking out the beautiful things. I believe they call them decorations. I call him targets bol bol bol. There were several trees that really were enticing, but for some reason I just did not feel it was the appropriate place. I searched high and low and there it was. The perfect place. It was very colorful with red and white and all.
Soooooooo I hiked and let it rip. I was really enjoying the moment when all of a sudden I heard "..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />
Ok I must admit although I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed I did know that her coming after me was not a good thing. I thought it was because I had run out of the yard. I was standing there, still on three legs, waiting for the admonishment.
Then I hear "OMG Hannibal I can't believe that you just peed on Santa, bad dog, bad dog". At this time I put my leg down and jumped around to see where "Santa" was hiding. I did not realize I had peed on anyone!!! Hey I may be mischievous but I WOULD NOT I repeat WOULD NOT pee on someone.
Well I stood there frozen like the animal that was next to me. He had antlers and was in front of the thing I had just peed on. I was wondering if this was why all of the things was not moving. Maybe they had peed on something THEY should not have.
I gave her my "I don't know what you are upset about" look and she pointed to the fat jolly red and white thing I had just peed on. At this time I should mention that the person inside the home of the red and white thing I had just peed on came out onto the porch.
I must at this time also tell you that from past experience I know that anytime a third party is involved in something I have done it does not usually turn out good for the ole Hannie boy. We were all there in the moment when the woman said "its ok he was just being a doggie and it could have been worse he could have picked the baby Jesus".
Mom thanked her for being so nice and off we went down the street home thankful that it was such a simple problem. Well as soon as we got out of hearing range she turned and looked down and me and said "do you realize that by peeing on Santa you will not get anything for Christmas?" Hmmm. Hmmm. And although most people won't admit it we dogs do understand the English language. So when I heard "you peed on Santa so you get no treats" was definitely something I DID NOT want to hear.
Wow what was the big deal with that fat man in the red and white clothes anyway? It could have been worse I COULD have picked the baby Jesus. Well it's over with and it was another lesson learned. But I did learn sumpin else. I learned I can stop peeing in mid stream the minute I hear someone yell my name bol bol bol. Merry Christmas to you from me.
Hugs and licks – Hannibal Lector the dog who Santa is not coming to see.