She's One Hot Dog!
Well my fellow fur babies I have got quite the story for you today. I should begin by saying that this little story is rated PG-13 and not for all eyes. It is somewhat confusing and embarrassing at the same time. But hey that is what the life of this Yorkie has been since the day I was spit out of the womb. bol bol 
This involves, Izzy, aka “The Little Evil One”. As most of you know The Duchess Izzy got sick right after we got her and almost kicked the bucket. Oops sorry Mommy does not like me to say it like that—so-- Izzy almost died which would have left a void in our lives that could never be filled. How's that for sucking up rotfbol. She developed a kidney problem and because of this the doctor told Mommy that she should never have puppies. Which to me was good news because I don’t want ANY more animals to share with. Hey I am not selfish but enough is enough. Anywhoooo they told her that she needed to “go in heat” one time before she was "fixed".
Fixed? Wow I did not know dogs could be broken. That is something that has had me worried ever since I heard it. Now I am walking around softly wondering what you have to do to break “it”. I also found the phrase “go in heat” interesting. I am undecided that if “going in heat” will make you “break it” so you will have to “fix it” . Wow such a complicated world this is!!
That was a little background on the little evil one to get you prepared for the meat and potatoes of the story. As you also all know Izzy turned the big “1 year” about 2 weeks ago. She got several surprises and stuff plus a cake. That evening we were all sitting around munching on our goodies and all of a sudden Mommy said “Lacey OMG Izzy is a woman!” Then she breaks out singing “I am woman hear me roar in numbers to big to ignore. I am invincible, I am woman.”
I’m like hey we have NEVER had this kind of commotion on MY birthdays. Besides how come when you turn 1 year old you are a woman. They did not call me a man when I turned 1 year old. Hmmmmm not the same rules for guys I guess.
Well the next day I was laying on the couch with Mommy and Izzy and for some “strange” reason all of a sudden I realized I was feeling a strong attraction to the “little evil one”. A REAL STRONG ATTRACTION. bol bol bol. I should put some emphasis right here that while I am barking out loud here Mommy was not.
Just as I was fixing to make use of my strong attraction to her from out of nowhere comes a remote control down on my snout. Yes you heard me right. The woman who as taken the place of my birth mother popped me on the snout with the remote control. While I was seeing stars I was hearing her scream something about “incest”. I did have going in on my mind but I have no idea what the cest is. Looked in the dictionary and could not find it. Must be a Mommy word.
Well for the time being my strong attraction was replaced by the stinging on my snout. But hey I couldn’t fight it. The attraction was bigger than the both of us and well I had to try again. Just as I got in the correct position, hehehe, I felt as if I was flying. My eyes were closed and I thought wow this is gonna be one great lay. bol bol bol. Then I realized I WAS going through the air. The Helen Reddy impersonator had me and I was in mid-air by the time I realized what was going on. Then in a flash of an eye I was put into a crate! Yes people I said a crate. Something I have NEVER been in. OMG it was terrible. I was in Izzy’s crate.
Well I’ll tell you one thing. No booty call is worth getting put into a crate for. Ok that was a lie. A booty call would be worth it but I did not get the booty call. I only got to sniff. That woman has eyes in the back of her head and she can see around corners. Superman is nothing compared to Judy, aka Mommy Dearest.
Well after about an hour she let me out and I trotted over to the door to look out. I was really trying to let her think it did not bother me AND not look at Izzy. Then god help me it happened again. I cannot explain what comes over me. It’s like it’s in the air and I cannot control myself. I was actually walking over to her on my hind legs!! Thinking “come to Daddy!” bol bol bol. The woman can read my mind. No wonder she is single. No man stands a chance around this woman.
Then she looks me in the eye and says “Hannibal if you go near Izzy you will be sorry.” At this moment in time I was thinking how could I be sorry? I would only be sorry if she hit my snout again and the remote control was at a safe distance away so I once again went in for the kill. 
You’ll be sorry is still ringing in my ears. I am now sitting in the storage room as I write this. Here with the clothes basket. Here with the hot water tank. Here with the washer and dryer and the little evil one is standing outside the door cause I can see her little feet under the door!! I tell you guys women are not good for anything cept’ getting men in trouble. At the present time I am googling on the computer to see just how many days I will be spending here in the storage room. It is not looking good fellows. Well I have got to go. The washer has stopped making a horrible noise and I am gonna try to grab a few winks.
Love to you all.
Hannibal